I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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