drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
