Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
