Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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