Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
