So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
