You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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