Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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