While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
