so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
