Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
