we made out on top of his cat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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