But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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