VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
