ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
