so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
