oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
