OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
