Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
