she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
