in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Vodka?
Forever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
