operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
