I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
