I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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