You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
