You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
handjob tips. give me some.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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