yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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