did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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