i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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