i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
