Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
