so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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