i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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