just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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