I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
