sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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