I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
