im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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