census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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