I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
