Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
