If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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