hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
