You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
