I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
