the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
