I accidentally burped into my bong.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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