Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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