I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My feet surprised me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
