Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
