8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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