I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
