I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I queefed so loud it echoed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
