My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
